Hmmm... Kala-chan... (like your new nickname? Heehee! ^-^)

Back to what you said before, about us being different now than we were 1.5 years ago... (was it really that long ago? Wow...)

We are different people now. But I know that if we had the chance to spend another day at Wilson, like "old times," and we still ate lunch at the Corner with all of our friends, that I would go absolutely crazy. Wouldn't you? If I were going crazy about something stupid, would you join me in my laughter and endless ranting?

I have many sides, too. One is my crazy/hyper side. Another is my quiet side. Both of those are a part of me, and take prevelance depending on who I'm with or where I am. For example, at lunch at Wilson, my crazy/hyper side was most often shown (even though it was VERY diminished after you left, it was still there). At my new school, my quiet side is nearly all that people see of me; even though I'm learning to open up more to some of my classmates, I know that I'm not going to see them again until maybe next year, so I don't bother to let them realize that I have a very wild and fun side.

Another side of mine is my dark and moody personality, which has been deciding to show itself more often these past few weeks. Then there's my seemingly indifferent side, my semi-cheerful side, my pessimistic side, and my optimistic side. I have a creative side that, if mixed with my dark and pessimistic feelings, could lead me to hurt everyone that I hold dear to my soul; which threatens to happen, but fortunately my rational side is helping me exercise self-restraint in the form of writing and speaking.

I am far from a perfect person; and sometimes, I feel extremely divided by myself, and the fact that I have so many different personalities. It's frustrating, because I know that when I go to certain places, I can't truly be myself, whatever that is. If I go to Wilson and be with my friends, I feel almost like I'm expected to be wild. If I go to my new school, I feel like I'm expected to be quiet and reflective. I guess (sorry, have to mention Furuba :P) that I feel an awful lot like Yuki; I'm torn between my own emotions, and what's expected of me.

I feel ugly at times; not my outward appearance, that doesn't matter as much to me. No, I feel ugly inside sometimes, because my mind can't seem to make up its mind as to who I really am, and it tears me up. I am Aerin. I am Joseph. I am Daniel, Latonayo, Emi-chan, Mairin, Lanniel, Aimjaim, May, and Marshmallow. But I want to be Amy, and I'm still finding out who that is.

Believe me, I know how you feel when you asked me to tell you who I thought you were, and here's what I think you are: My sister. My best friend. You haven't found peace yet, but it'll come. Yes, it will come. And until then (and afterwards, mind you ^^), you have someone with you who is just as confused and lost as you are.

Wow, that was deep. I hope that all of my friends know that that was dedicated to all of them, because I feel that we all are or will go through this sooner or later. Just know that when you have rough times, any of you, that someone can relate. Whether it's me, Kala-chan, Anu-chan, Amanda-chan or Kasa-chan (aka TundraFlame, heh), Fai-chan or Anna-chan, or someone else. That was a lot of chans. Someone will be able to help.

I'm going to make another post, because I feel like being perky and happy now ^-^ But I don't want to ruin the mood of this one, so...

Bye!

~Aerin

"When your world breaks down and the voices tell you 'turn around,' when your dreams give out, I will carry you." ~Clay Aiken (In his song. I believe it's called "I will carry you," but I'm not positive about that. It's a beautiful song.)

Eh... for anyone who wants to see my prom picture with Keshav, you can, but only the top because the bottom is bad. Oh, and there's a REASON why I wasn't smiling. I swear, it wasn't my fault! The camera was broken, so Keshav and I were just standing there for like ever having to hold hands and looking into a bright light, and all of a sudden the flash went off and they're like "Okay, next." So yea...

Except it doesn't work. So I'll have to email it to you. Well, bye chans! TFlame and Anu should get myspace files! Yay! It is kind of hard to understand, but very fun! I actually don't care if you read this post, only the last ones I did. Like the ones that start with READ THIS and TUNDRAFLAME and stuffs like that. Yay. Go join my blog: footstepsofharmony.blogspot.com yay!

ANU CHAN!!! I thought that was you, just thought I better make sure you weren't Anna or Faith or some chan like that. ^.^ I know Lincoln is Wilson's rival, that's why it so sad! But at least maybe I'll see you at football games or something! Doesn't matter, I still root for Trojans! Or Valiants (4 Valley). Yay! So good to talk to Anu chan!

Every one read this and have fun! My last post was really odd. Well, now I'm hyper again, so let's have fun! I know! We shall make a story. Copy and paste this into a new post, adding a line as you do. It's just like the old funny stories used to be, remember?

Chapter One: Ruinion (again)

*A girl sits in the middle of a forest, very quiet. Oh doesn't she look so peaceful... 0.0*

Kalaibii: *jumps up suddenly* IT'S NOT WORKING!!! *points to a small mound on the ground where an oak seed has been planted thirty seconds prior, a pouting look on her face*

Eekers. Who is Anu? Aerin chan, I was just reading the blog you did the day I left... T.T That was so long ago. It doesn't seem like just yesterday anymore, and yet at the same time it does. I have often wondered what would happen if we got another chance? What if we all had one chance to go to Wilson for one day as we are presently. It sometimes scares me to think that it might not be the same... but is different so bad? I know I am talking all weird, but hear me out. Over the past year and a half, we have definitely changed. Whether in different ways or same, only the future will tell. If we had spent the past year and a half together, would we be different today? Would we be better? Or worse? It confuses me so, to think that I am Arawen, "master of hyperness and crazy things" and at the same time, I am Ke... I don't know who I am anymore. I am so many people. I'm not only Arawen, and Kalaibii, and Kelley, and Kyo, and Kitty, I'm many many more. And yet are they all the same? Are they all just bits and pieces of a being that adds up to me?

I know this is a really long rant, but Aerin, Tundraflame, and Anu (I'm assuming I know you...) if you have any way to answer the question below, please do:

who am i?


eek. i sounded like a philosopher. I guess I should end in a quote.

"calling out... hopefully and hopelessly..."

Whoah! Heya all. It's Kalaibii (aka you probably know who I am, but just in case, I have in the past been known as all of the following: Arawen, K-chan, Kyophan, Kyo, Stupid cat, Kitaldi, Kitty, and other stuffs. So er, yea! This is an anime based blog, I get according to the name, so let me talk about Anime!! Yay!

Uh... the first thing that comes to mind (of course) is Fruits Basket. This weekend, I hope, I am FINALLY going to see the third DVD (uh, can't remember what it's called >.<) when I go to Mink's house. Uh huh! Oh, by the way for those of you that DON'T know, I am going to Lincoln next year! AHA! *Sniffles* I am really going to miss SDan, for the people who know who that is... I realized that today. Well, before, but today it was really depressing... oh well, I can't complain. At least I'll get to see the great Larsoni again. SOMEBODY FIND (uh... the person I used to call "neohippie") XPHILE and tell her that I am going to see the great Larsoni again. I am a bit excited about that... I'm not really talking about anime... Oh well! Yay! A blog! Now I have to figure out how to invite all you guys to mine!

YAY!! Kalaibii-chan is here!!!! (formerly known on this blog as Arawen, mind you! ^.-) That makes me happy... I'm going to go and do my happy dance!!!

*dance, dance, dance!!!*

Okay, I'm done!!! YAY!!!

Doom. I have to go to class -_-;; I shall have to do more dancing later.

Cya, guys!!

~Aerin

So I went to prom this last Saturday...

It was fun...

But the music and the dancing... OH MY GOSH!!! That was WAY too much for Aerin-chan's innocent eyes 0.0 Oy, it was BAD. And my date was totally obsessed with holding my hand or something... it was WAY uncomfortable... I mean, I've known him since we were 7 YEARS OLD, and I thought that we were going as friends. Apparently, I sent him the wrong vibes, because now he's planning next year's prom. Already. As in, I hope I am dead before then, heh.

But other than the prom itself, and my date wanting to be my boyfriend, it was a lot of fun!! I got to see a TON of my friends from high school (that sounds soooo wierd, I can' t even explain it to you...). And one of them... (heh, Domo-kun, if you guys can figure out who that is... if not, ask Kasa-chan...) Anyway, he told me I was beautiful ^-^ That made my night, and I was really really happy after that.

All in all, it was okay. It's kinda sad, but... the times when I had the most fun were when I was with my friends, and my date wasn't trying to hold my hand all the time... that was mean, wasn't it? I'm sorry!!! I don't like to say mean things to/about people!!! >.< Sorry!!! That was horrible!!!

Ahem. Yeah... pardon that outburst....

Other news:

I'm gonna see Star Wars on Thursday!!! YAY!!! I'm soooooooo excited!!!! But, the only problem is....

IT'S ON AT THE SAME TIME AS THE CSI SEASON FINALE!!!! And Nick is getting burried alive!!!! *Prays* PLEASE, my buddy Jenn!!! PLEASE tape it for me!!!! Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaase?????

Wow, I sound really wierd... hmm... I'm not really obsessed about TV, I promise... It's just that CSI holds a special place in my heart ^-^ Lol. Along with Teen Titans and Kim Possible. Yep, there is no way in the world that I am seventeen years old. I mean... I'm totally in love with cartoons and anime and manga!! ...Is that normal...? Oh well.

Hm... that last paragraph was kind of contradictory, now that I think of it... hehehe... ^^;

AH! There's this new (well, new to me) anime that I found!! It's called Record of Lodoss War, and it ROCKS!!!! I love it, and now I've got another anime to add to my "Love" list!! I also like The World of Narue... it's funny. I'm not as attached to that one as I am to, say... FRUITS BASKET, for example!!! (Yes, I am still in love with Furuba... I can't help it!! It's too... great!!!! ^_^)

Man, Furuba is sooo dark now! T_T I wanna cry for the characters, except for Shigure... he's a DISGUSTING PERVERT...!!! But I won't say here... that's called giving away lots and LOTS of spoilers... I'll just say this one thing: WHY REN??? What the HECK was going through his mind????

Oh yeah, and Akito makes more sense to me. I can kind of understand Aki-chan better. (But Aki-chan is still a meanie, and doesn't deserve to be called "Aki-chan" in my opinion. Even though I'm still calling Akito "Aki-chan" anyway. Hmmm... that didn't make sense, did it? Oh well.)

And Kyo is still the best. I love Kyo... but... I'm scared for him...!!! And poor, poor Tohru!!! She's having a really hard time right now... T_T I wanna cry for the characters!! But every time I even get close to it, my brain starts telling me, "Aerin-chan, they are fictional characters. Why are you crying over fictional characters?" And then I answer, "I want them to be real!! Then I could get my brain to shut up about me crying over fictional characters!!!"

Now I sound schisophrenic. Yay.

Wow, this is one big rant. It's kind of funny, the way I keep changing topics... Oh well! I'm gonna go and see about taking some online quizzes!!! Yay!!!

~Aerin-chan

"Cyborg's virus has made sick the machine of money." (Gotta love Starfire!! She rocks!!! They all rock!!!)

PS I hope somebody talks to me... I'm lonely!!! T_T Kidding, kidding... I just hope someone replies to my rant!!!

You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.
"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life.
She cried a single tear and shed a single drop
of blood upon the earth where she buried it.
From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into
the world."
Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek),
Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian).The Goddess is associated with the concept of
creation, the number 1, and the element of
earth.Her sign is the dawn sun.
As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic
individual and people are drawn to you.
Although sometimes you may seem emotionally
distant, you are deeply in tune with other
people's feelings and have tremendous empathy.
Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your
own self. Goddesses are the best friends to
have because they're always willing to help.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
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